Shanghai Surprise
(Blonde Redhead - 23)

You never know what you'll find in foreign lands. I found this on Absolutely Fobulous.

Great conversation piece...as is evident from the following...

Khiem: I wish I found this before you guys got married...I would've got this for you as a wedding gift!

Friend: she's on travel but I suppose i can still use it for personal use
jeez...4-6 weeks delivery. patience is a virtue...how ironic

Khiem: well before you couldn't wait to lose your virginity...now you have to wait to get it back...sounds fair to me.

Friend: i don't actually understand what you're supposed to do with this thing

Khiem: I'd like to help you out there
but it's a bit graphic for this time of day

Friend: the thing looks like a rorshach ink tests or something
i think i see fallopian tubes

Khiem: you are really examining this thing aren't you?

Friend: i've saved it to my desktop
why do you ask?

Khiem: why stop there...this would be great on a christmas card
I couldn't look at it for more than 5 sec

Friend: hey, great idea. my wedding thank you cards are still on the 'to do' list

Khiem: awesome...nothing says thank you like a hymen

Friend: correction, nothing says thank you like a broken hymen
this is interesting. did you click the link the company site?
it says the package contains 2 x artificial hymen
obviously, we know why you would need 1
but the second one seems, i dunno, superfluous

Khiem: in these parts of the world...you might have 2 wives

Friend: we can split the costs..in?
$15, that's a fair price

Khiem: just becareful cutting the package in half...I want my hymen intact

Friend: damn, too bad you didn't find this thing earlier. we just missed halloween

Khiem: it's never too late for a costume party
you could go as a virgin magnet or a de-virginizer and just have a few of those sewn on your shirt

Friend: costume party? i was going to drop it in the kids' loot bag
that was too much. i don't feel good about that last joke

Khiem: the kids are much more mature these days
if you decide to get this...just make sure the wife is not using it when she goes horseback riding
I hear you can lose it that way
or riding a tractor

Friend: you are right:
Main causes of hymen tore or break:

* Strenuous exercise (Gymnastics, sports, martial art, horse riding, etc)
* Premarital Sex
* Childhood accident (Hard object)
* Wearing a tampon for the first tim
from the website

Khiem: you really thought I was making that up?
I'm not the boy that cried broken hymen

Friend: loved that story, can't wait for them to make the movie

Khiem: they're rating PG-13
like I said...kids are much more mature these days

Friend: the product description for this thing is fascinating
there are so many spelling mistakes
and the grammar...my goodness
my favourite line: The artificial hymen will melt inside the vagina so will not fall out

Khiem: at least it doesn't say "it melts in your mouth, not in your hands"

Friend: Hymen-M's

Khiem: Wow...we might be taking this too far...

Friend: That boat passed awhile back.

Khiem: The little man in the boat passed awhile back.